I have spent many hours over the years contemplating the Four Dhamma Summaries, I have read and re-read the Ratthapala Sutta, which goes into a beautiful explanation of the summaries. These short, pithy truths have always deeply resonated with me. None more so than the second Dhamma Summary – The world offers no shelter, there is no protector.

The truth is, I am desperate for shelter, for protection. When I look at my sandan, those niggling tendencies, beliefs and resultant behaviors, that continuously underpin my stories, there is probably none more prevalent than my desire for safety. I come into this world seeking shelter. But over and over I have been disappointed. Over and over I find insecurity and danger.

The world offers no shelter … nothing made this more clear than covid, after all, where could I hide from disease? Believe me, I tried, I holed myself up and used my massive resources to stay safe: I worked from home, had everything delivered, avoided all human contact, till a medical emergency sent me to the hospital, ground fucking zero for sick people, in the middle of a pandemic.

As covid progressed, and I watched governments repeatedly fail to pass policies that kept people safe, my mind just kept coming back to the words there is no protector, there is no one in charge.

Later, once I had emerged a bit from my bubble, I would go to the store and see all the anti-maskers, defying the law, endangering everyone around them. Ensuring there was no shelter, no safety, even in a state that had mask ordinances. There was a law, but no one was able to enforce it… The world offers no shelter, there is no protector.

Before Covid, I truly used to think there were things – states, institutions, law enforcement, social norms, human decency – that could be counted on to protect people, but Covid, people’s behavior during Covid, decimated that belief. It showed me that there can be places of relative safety, of temporary comfort, but those can change at anytime.

An apartment that once gave me a quiet space turned into a construction zone. A city – SF –that once made me feel emotionally whole, became a smoke ridden health hazard to my asthmatic self. A relaxing day at the spa became a hellscape as I watched my beloved collapse to the ground from overheating and I feared for his life. I may not have been an essential worker, forced into the world during lockdowns, but my time for risk of illness and danger still came. It will keep coming right up until the time my death comes.

There is no place to hide from these things, there is no one who will avoid them or make it so that I can avoid them. The world offers no shelter. There is no one in charge. One morning, while I was chanting the Dhamma Summaries, it dawned on me – A world where there is no shelter and where no one is in control must be a dukka world.