Like the phone strap, this body is not mine. My body is not under my control — all the lab work suggests it is wearing out faster than I want it to. I fear that at the current rate of wear it will become useless to me sooner rather than later, at least sooner than I am ready to part with it, while I still need it. This body is not my own because it will depart from me on its…
This Phone Strap is Not Mine My phone strap is not under my control — it is wearing out faster than I want it to. At its current rate of wearing it is likely to become useless to me before I am ready to part with it, while I think I still need it. This phone strap is not my own because it will depart from me on its time and not on mine. This phone strap is not under…
My brother Seth called, again, I finally pick-up the phone and I get an earful, “(something like) Why can’t you just pick-up the phone. Or if you can’t pick-up the phone why can’t you just call me back. It’s been days I have been trying to get a hold of you. I always return my calls, is it so so much to ask for that you do the same?…”. In my head I’m thinking, “ he is blowing this out…
As part of my efforts to stave-off an autoimmune disease, my rheumatologist had recommended a regular program of 5 day fasts to help renew and regenerate immune system function. The fasts allow for a small amount of pre-allocated food – around 600 calories a day of bars and powdered soup – enough to make unsupervised fasting safe, but certainly not enough to feel close to full. On a recent fast, I woke up on day 4, out of 5, and…
During Covid, with time on my hands and my dhamma practice in high gear, I had begun (and still continue) a daily chanting practice. Sometimes, I just rush through, phone it in, chant for the sake of chanting simply because I have taken it upon myself as something I will do. Other times though, something I chant/read will really hit me and I will go down the rabbit hole of contemplating on a single line, even a single word, until…
The sunscreen I diligently use, depend on every day isn’t mine — it is something I use to protect myself, but it is also leeching chemicals that can harm me through my skin. My blood isn’t mine, it is supposed to protect me, nourish my tissues and organs, but it also carries lipids to my heart and clogs my arteries. Is something that acts against me –threatens my life, mine? My skin cream is not mine. It is a consumable…
By the end of 2019, my contemplations around rupa that had begun during the retreat, had grown increasingly more refined. While at times those contemplations seemed stunted or fragmented, I had moments where they really began to gel into a cohesive understanding. Though self and self belonging –grounded in rupa — are a prevalent theme of the time, I also began to expand my considerations and explore the role of nama, particularly imagination, in bolstering my wrong views of ownership. In…
In Nov 2019 Mae Yo sent me a number of YouTube videos to aid my practice and fuel my contemplations. I am going to share the videos and my replies to Mae Yo, as well as her comments back to me. I intend to leave this conversations entirely unaltered. I am creating a new tag/section for these particular entries so they are easily delineated, searched and found. Nonetheless they also fit firmly in time, and content, within the Rupa For…
After Several weeks of chewing on all the insights I had gained during and after my line Chats with Mae Neecha, I felt finally ready to send a synthesis of my thoughts and understandings to Mae Neecha and Mae Yo. Below is the email I sent. I have divided it into two parts/ blogs as it is quite long. Hey Mae Neecha — I sure do hope this email finds you well. It has been a few weeks, so I just wanted…
I had been reading an article about how precarious life is for people living in rural China who were not issued government identification cards. Without the ids, they struggled to find work, they were unable to travel or to access medical care, education or state aid. It sort of shocked me that something so small — an id card — can make the difference between a life of ease and a life of struggle and uncertainty. It seemed so unfair,…
Dear Reader, the next few blogs are reduxes — blogs which originally ‘aired’ back in fall 2018 which I am put it into chronological sequence. I hope these reduxes, in their original context, provide additional insight. I was recently in Boston and took a guided tour of the Black Heritage Trail, a path that links more than 15 pre-Civil War sites important in African-American history; the stories of American abolitionists (folks who fought for the elimination of slavery) were a central theme…
This blog is the part of a series where I will share a selection of the daily dhamma data collection/ exercises, which I committed to for the 2018 Vassa period. Today’s selection will all be highlights from the month of October, 2018. For more details on the exercise and commitment, please see the this blog. Impermanence Today I saw two twin looking trees in a field. The same type of tree it seemed, one was all green and the other was…
This blog is part of a series where I will share a selection of the daily dhamma data collection/ exercises, which I committed to for the 2018 Vassa period. Today’s selection will all be highlights from the month of September, 2018. For more details on the exercise and commitment, please see this blog. Impermanence I had a particularly difficult client for my business and I decided I was going to ask them for a higher fee because of their added…
This blog is the beginning of a series where I will share a selection of the daily dhamma data collection/ exercises, which I committed to for the 2018 Vassa period. Today’s selection will all be highlights from the month of August, 2018. For more details on the exercise and commitment, please see the previous blog. Impermanence Expected a friend to meet me for dinner but she canceled last min. At first, I was a little sad, but then Eric unexpectedly…
Taking a break from the hot springs, we decided to head over to our favorite restaurant in town to grab some lunch — Ukiah Gardens, here we come!!! Eric and I have been coming to the hot springs in Ukiah for years. We have a routine, a favorite cabin we always stay in, a favorite coffee place, a few shops downtown that we like to stop into and — above all else — Ukiah Gardens. Everything there is done with…
So Dear Reader, as a re-cap, we are taking a break from our regularly scheduled program and interrupting this nice, orderly, temporally linear(ish) blog about my practice with an intrusion from the present day…. inspired by the filth, noise, overcrowding and rudeness of NYC…I bring you part three in my blog about hate. We left off last week with a moment of realization: Hate is not built into the situations where I feel hateful, the seed of hate lies in my heart. So,…
I was sitting on an airplane, and for 2 hours, the woman sitting next to me only interrupted her near-continuous coughing fits to take the occasional sneeze break –the woman was clearly sick as a dog. Everyone gets sick, I get it, but this woman refused to cover her mouth/nose when she coughed and sneezed, she was spewing her disease all over me and everyone else around. I was friggin furious. Doesn’t she know you are supposed to cover your mouth…
After Several weeks of chewing on all the insights I had gained during and after my line Chats with Mae Neecha, I felt finally ready to send a synthesis of my thoughts and understandings to Mae Neecha and Mae Yo. Below is the email I sent. I have divided it into two parts/ blogs as it is quite long. Hey Mae Neecha — I sure do hope this email finds you well. It has been a few weeks, so I just…
Before we set sail to New York, Eric and I decided to go on a 3 week holiday to Europe. I planned every last detail, booked us in the nicest hotels, chose upgraded flight seats, researched the best activities and routs. With so much prepping, preparing and thoughtful packed I couldn’t imagine anything going wrong. But, its travel –its life–so of course, plenty did go wrong. Some stuff was just inconvenience, some funny missteps or misunderstandings. But there were a couple of incidents…
