A few years after my uncle had died of cancer my aunt began dating again. She met a guy she really liked, a fun companion and a good partner, and for around 2 years they were happy. And then, in less than 2 minutes, it was over. She had gone-out on a short errand and returned to a crime scene — her boyfriend had committed suicide by shooting himself. I felt utterly devastated for my aunt and I was utterly…
So I want to offer a bit of a caveat, a prenote, before I launch into the first few blog posts in my “Peeking over the Fence Period”. You see, usually, the KPY method takes stuff external to ourselves and immediately internalizes. We put ourselves in the situation and run from there. But my Peeking Over the Fence period started off a little differently. My goal was to start seeing the world, the ugly parts of it that I tend…
The main character of a book I was reading (The Orphan Master’s Son) was part of an elite unit of North Korean soldiers stationed to guard the country’s border. Other members of the unit used to like to go peek over the fence and peer into South Korea, to see what life was like there. But, the main character never looked: “He knew the televisions were huge and there was all the rice you could eat. Yet he wanted no…
Dear Reader – this blog is a direct continuation of the preceding blog, An Interruption in Our Regularly Scheduled Program – Goodbye Goyard Part 1. If you have not yet read that post then please go back and read it before you start on this next entry. I am looking around myself at all these items I have laid out to consign, each one telling me a truth about myself and about this world. A part of me so desperately wants to hang on to many of these items, a purse I may ‘need’ later, a pair of…
Dear Reader, I hope you will indulge me in one more present day (Oct. 2018) interruption, on the topic of self and self belonging, before we get on with our usual program… I was thinking about the upcoming Kathina ceremony, an important holiday in the Buddhist tradition, and decided I really wanted to make an offering to the temple – to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha – that means something special to me. It’s hard to explain, but I felt like money alone simply wouldn’t do. Sometimes, when I give money it feels like donating food when I am full; I wanted this gift to feel like donating when I’m…
Before I close-out the Suffering and Self – Yummy portion of this blog, I feel compelled to share a few modern-day (Aug 2018 and Oct. 2018) contemplations on the topic of myself and my belongings, while it is still ‘fresh’. Only, instead of focusing on how my belongings feed and care for the self, I observe how actually, I am a slave to these belongings. As with all the other Interruption in Our Regularly Scheduled Program blogs, we are, for…
Each morning, I get-up and take my asthma medication, a quick puff, a rinse of the mouth and I am good to go. Fit as a fiddle. Strong as an Ox. Healthy as a horse… My fit, healthy self, went to fill-out some insurance paperwork, and as I read their definitions of “excellent health”, I saw I didn’t qualify. With asthma, a chronic condition, the best I can be, according to the insurance company, is in “good health.” But wait…
The next two blogs, which will close-out the Suffering and Self –Yummy period of my practice, are a recap of the homework Mae Yo gave me to look at my own experiences to see how I use stuff to feed and sustain the self. Part 1 will be evidence gathered from my belongings. Part 2 will address my body directly. Fishing through my wardrobe I come across an outfit I love: tall black boots and a long jacket. Even just thinking of putting those two things on and I feel like…
I shared my reflections on the Green Purse with Mae Yo and she offered a few thoughts I will share here: Identity comes from what we are familiar with, we reiterate it, we become used to it and then, in our minds it becomes us and ours. We are repulsed by things we don’t like and attached to stuff we do. It all starts with me and the bag, but compliments from others, Eric’s comment that the bag reminds him of me, build my sense of specialness that…
Following the teaching I received from Phra Arjan Daeng, I began to try and incorporate his advice for practice into my contemplations. What follows is a homework contemplation about my Green Purse which I turned in to Phra Arjan Daeng upon our next meeting several weeks after his initial instruction. _______________________________________________________________________ The Story : I had been on the prowl for a new purse for a few weeks, I wanted something bright, in a neutral color, big enough to fit my gym clothes, cross body to help spare my shoulder and soft sided so it…
In June 2015, shortly after the 2015 Retreat, Wat San Fran welcomed a visit from Phra Arjan Daeng, Assistant Abbott of Wat Pa Ban Koh and one of Laung Por Thoon’s esteemed students. I was fortunate to be at the Wat and receive a teaching from him advising me on how to practice. Here I will share a some of the notes I took from that teaching: ____________________________________________________________________________ You should sit and focus well, meditate everyday for 5-10 minutes and see how your mind and heart is. Extreme focus is necessary, without it you can’t do anything,…
After the retreat I went ahead and summed-up all my contemplations and shared them with Mae Yo and Neecha. I had a few additional questions. Here you will find my questions in purple and Mae Yo’s responses in green below: 1)So this is really the first time that self has jumped out at me. I wanted to ask if there are pieces I am missing or more mechanics I should be contemplating? Anything at all you want to offer on the…
For the longest time, I had seen practicing the Dharma as a struggle. A sacrifice. Something I endured for the promise of a better future, or being a better person, or at least understanding the world more clearly. Of course, it had already been of benefit to me, I saw results; otherwise why in the heck would I keep pushing? But, to be honest, most of the time I imagined my path as me groping in the dark along a…
So, by the time I got back from my forest nap adventure, I had a pretty solid grasp on the limitations of my ability to preserve what I have, i.e. to keep and maintain control over my present circumstances. But there is another idea in my always choosing A — a fairly pervasive one in my life really — that I can make decisions to hedge my future, to keep doors open so I ‘always’ have more choices later, more…
Don’t worry, no need to stress, this isn’t a cliff hanger story. Sure, I took a wayward path, but I assure you we are still on topic…Why do I always chose A? As I was sitting in the forest I had a thought, the reason Eric and I stressed so much about the job choice, and then ultimately chose A is simple — we believe we are better than those trees, that we can preserve, control, that this choice of…
A note to my readers: this blog is a direct continuation of contemplations from Contemplations from the 2015 Retreat : Priming the Pump for Insight with contemplations on security and preserving. If you have not already done so, head back and read that entry before you proceed further. Slowly, I woke from my nap and I opened my eyes to see that the forest floor was covered in leaves. In fact, it seemed like more leaves were on the ground…
A note to my readers: this blog is a direct continuation of contemplations from the 2015 Retreat: It’s multiple choice, but I always chose A (i.e.The Problem). If you have not already done so, head back and read that entry before you proceed further. Background Thoughts: For those of you who may be new to this blog, we are going to skip ahead to a conclusion easily born-out by 100 prior posts (about health, relationships, beauty, fear, etc) — my…
I showed-up at the 2015 retreat with fresh emotional wounds hard won from the struggle of weighty decision making about my husband, Eric’s, next career move. Eric had gotten 2 job offers: A) from a company we will call F.U.ber, from the get-go we expected it would be painfully unpleasant, but secure and lucrative; and B) from a company called Sonos, which we expected to have good work life balance, in a nice Cali Coastal town, but with risky prospects…
A brief introduction to the Jatakas: I suppose it’s not really something most of us Buddhists think about much, but the Buddha, who was superduppermegga awesome in his final life, took awhile to get there. In fact, the Jataka Tales, which recount the past lives of the Buddha-to-be, have around 550 stories — not exactly instant enlightenment huh? To me, it’s pretty heartening really, even the Buddha had to follow a path, perfecting himself along the way, till he…
