This next story features our old friends Rupa (form, stuff) and control. It’s not so much that I ever stopped contemplating these topics, in fact I am currently contemplating them with renewed vigor, but they slipped into the background of a number of these stories. So here we have it front and center once again…. I was at the Wat shortly after the India trip and Mae Yo asked a group of us the question, “Why do we have so…
On Karma On the first day of the trip, Mae Yo asked us to consider what kind of karma folks have to be living in a place like India, to be born into the conditions of poverty we see on the streets around us. (Present day note: a much more complete entry on Karma is coming-up, these are just a few thoughts from my trip). As I looked out the window of the buss I noticed that folks live in…
On Standards Last night we stayed at a hotel that was super dirty. The sheets were stained, there was hair everywhere, a peek in the kitchen revealed all kinds of creepy crawlies, the toilet was brown, as was the faucet water. It stank. I was soooo very uncomfortable. As I lay in my bed, I had no choice, no where else to go so I tried to fall asleep. I realized that there is a difference between ignoring the dirty…
Back in Nov. 2013 my temple took a group trip to visit the Buddhist holy sites in India and Nepal. In the next few entries I will relate some of my notes and observations from the trip. I will go ahead and copy these directly from my notebook and make edits only for the sake of context and understandability. More Trash There is trash in the tour bus, empty water bottles on the floor, food wrappers stuffed in seat pockets….
I am waiting for a table at a cafe and when one opens-up the waiter tells me to have a seat and he will be over to clear the table in a few moments. I sit down and look at the last patron’s trash piled on the table and I feel disgusted. What a mess these folks left behind at my table. Of course, the waiter comes and cleans everything up, sets my heart at ease, and before I know…
Aspirations are one of those ‘Big Buddhisty Things’; they cameo in all the liturgy, we are instructed to make them whenever we do something good, they even managed to make it onto the Buddha’s critical stuff shortlist (often poorly translated as ‘right thought’ in the the 8 fold path). So, naturally, I obsessed over my own. I crafted it, word-smithed it, revised it over time. But at around this point in my practice (late 2013) I had come-up with a…
Since Dharma Practice Day One, Mae Yo has repeated one homework assignment to me over and over — “Alana, look at your stories, go and prove that all your problems really start from your sense of me and mine.” Somehow, I kept ignoring the assignment; just an empty space in my notebook again and again. Even though I had sort of figured-out that I was the one causing my problems (see the last section, Whoo Wait a Sec its Me…),…
So, a little reminder, this entry is the third part of my homework assignment to use snippets of my life/experiences (a biopsy) to start evaluating what happiness is and if it’s worth it. Specifically I was told to: Figure out where my mind visits often, my memories/fantasies. See the suffering. How long is the suffering versus happiness? How do I repeat the cycle? ___________________________________________________________________________ A Slave to Fashion You see, I am a Fashionista it’s one of the places my…
So, a little reminder, this entry is the second part of my homework assignment to use snippets of my life/experiences (a biopsy) to start evaluating what happiness is and if it’s worth it. Specifically I was told to: Figure out where my mind visits often, my memories/fantasies. See the suffering. How long is the suffering versus happiness? How do I repeat the cycle? ___________________________________________________________________________ Wonderfully Beautiful For Halloween a few years ago, I was intent on going to a party…
So, a little reminder, this entry is the first part of my homework assignment to use snippets of my life/experiences (a biopsy) to start evaluating what happiness is and if it’s worth it. Specifically I was told to: Figure out where my mind visits often, my memories/fantasies. See the suffering. How long is the suffering versus happiness? How do I repeat the cycle? Alana’s Special Vacation Time After months of prep and planning, the day of Eric and my first…
I had only a brief moment of feeling triumphant — having conquered Mae Yo’s seemingly impossible homework assignment about how the aggregates work — when I realized, I now had an even bigger question…Why? I mean seriously, why do I create a sense of self and then bolster it using some crazy ass mental acrobatics ( i.e. aggregates of memory (3) and imagination (4))? Why bother with this self-stuff? Why bother getting born? Try as I might I was stumped…
Another technical entry warning, do your best and feel free to scan and skip ahead to next week if this is all a bit much… Gurrr, ughhrr, ugggh … those were basically my first thoughts when I sat down to do my homework. Fortunately, as I’m sure all you Dear Readers have noted already, the methods taught by LP Thoon are chalk-full of tools, the most important being to start from experiences in our everyday lives to understand the dharma….
So, I am going to warn in advance that this is sure to be a mighty technical entry. This is about to get REALZ so, if you are having trouble, assume you’re in good company (even with this blogger) and do your best to follow along. Also note, the stuff in this post is not a starting place for practice, this is not meant to fuel anyone else’s contemplations, though none of this is a great secret (there are no…
I began this blog with the idea of Buddhism, of Bhuddistiness — what I said from the get-go remains entirely true: This blog, all my contemplations, my path, is firmly rooted in the path the Buddha himself laid-out, beginning with correcting our wrong views, to guide us to freedom from suffering. Simple as it sounds, this is the heart of my dharma practice — seeing the reality that everything is impermanent, subject to change, to cease, to die and that…
A dear friend from college, we’ll call her Candy, came for a few days to visit. Candy and I are extremely close, I love her like a sister, but sometimes we can fight like sisters too…when I look back at the visit I realize, I had prepared myself for a knockout prize fight from the moment she stepped out of the Uber and onto my front curb. You see Candy, despite having many redeeming qualities as a friend, can be…
Eric and I were in Hawaii and, me being a sucker for all things touristy and kitschy, got sold on tickets to a submarine ride. We took our seats on board and the boat began to descend. Down and down we went into a world that looks so different than what I’m used to. I peeled my eyes away from the window for just a sec and I noticed that my very bright neon green bag was changing colors. This…
It was at the end of the 2012 (I think) retreat and the teachers were taking suggestions/ feedback on the retreat from the participants. I raised my hand, “I think it would be good if LP Nut (one of the teachers) led some of the English discussion groups/activities. I always get so much out of his teachings” LP Nut takes the microphone, thanks me, and then calls me out, “just remember Alana you can learn Thai too.” OK, I hear…
The buses in SF suck! They are dirty, overcrowded, slow and filled with all kinds of ‘colorful’ and delicious smelling characters. So when, I could finally afford to drive to work everyday (and pay for parking) instead of having to take the bus, I felt like I had ‘made-it’. Sweet! Then one day, my husband needed the car and it was back to the bus for me. I got on and it was worse than I remembered — all pushing…
My brother Seth called, again, I finally pick-up the phone and I get an earful, “(something like) Why can’t you just pick-up the phone. Or if you can’t pick-up the phone why can’t you just call me back. It’s been days I have been trying to get a hold of you. I always return my calls, is it so so much to ask for that you do the same?…”. In my head I’m thinking, “ he is blowing this out…
