I want to introduce a new chapter in this blog, Pandemic Ponderings, that began from around February 2020, when Covid-19 really burst on the scene.  It isn’t so much that my contemplations on rupa had wound themselves to an end. Rather it was that a huge ugly monster –a global pandemic — had entered, stage left, and there was no possible way for it not to have a huge impact on my dharma contemplations, including those specifically on form.

In one way, of course, Covid was a huge change; before the end of 2019 Covid 19 hadn’t been an infectious disease in the human population, and then suddenly it began to spread, and with that spread there was a huge shift in this world, in our collective existence and in my own personal life. In another way though, the world hadn’t really changed at all — a rupa world is one in which rupa is constantly shifting, decaying, consuming and being consumed — this was never a world where I, as a rupa being, could be safe. It was never a world I could depend on. The pandemic simply made what was already true glaringly obvious.

This next chapter represents my ponderings in the shadow of the Covid Pandemic. To kick us off, I will share a short Line chat with Mae Neecha from February 26th, 2020.

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MN: Maybe focus on the four elements and decay? If your attachment to your body is a big issue, then understanding the truth of the 4 elements and rupa could be the key.

AD: I think you are correct. 4es, decay and duration seem to be most helpful for me in loosening stuff right now.  I have also been trying to train myself to see the relationship between cause and effect more clearly, but it is less organic. Maybe I will set that aside for a little and really ground myself in Rupa and impermanence…those two topics feel very strong to me.

MN: I like rupa contemplations because they are super straightforward and factual. What you see is what you get. There isn’t so much room for interpretation

AD: Well…no time like a global pandemic to contemplate on the 4es and decay. The nature of this world is seriously laying itself bare right now. Needless to say pandemic illness is a real hot button for me…as I follow the news I can’t help but feel like for all the meaning I lay onto things in my life, the bottom line is every thing in this world, things I hold dear and things I despise, they are all made up of the same 4es. Constantly shifting, decaying, consuming and being consumed. That is the world I am so enamored with. These are the things I depend on to build a life…things that are fundamentally not dependable.

MN: This lovely world can turn into a nightmare overnight. Pollution or corona virus like epidemics can turn all those lovely things into death and nightmares. There is nowhere to hide for those of us comprised on 4es

AD: I hear you. It is true…and I’m starting to feel it. Nothing like a disaster to hammer it home I guess.

MN: It’s a major disaster… an undeniable danger. But we are living in a nightmare every day, corona virus or not. Only, we don’t realize it

AD: Years ago, I talked to you about a book — A Thousand Splendid Suns… mainly about the shit-show life of 2 women in Afghanistan married to an abusive guy. A sticking point in that book has stayed with me…one of the women, Laila had a perfectly good life, a supportive liberal family, an education, till the war broke out. A bomb killed her parents and that is how she found herself in the situation of needing to marry the abuser.  I was struck that it didn’t seem right/fair/ it scared me that everything could be A ok and then go south so fast. Obviously it’s a huge fear of mine. The thing my Alana-made-up-exceptionalism is seeking to hedge against. But … when I am being honest with myself ( rare moments indeed) the world, with it’s virus or pollution or war, make it clear there is no true hedge.

I love to get sidelined with the “but, but, but”. With the ways I am different, with how I can control, or build good karma or manage my body, or be mindful of the circumstances I put myself in. But these ‘buts’ take me further from the ultimate truth. They are places my mind likes to hide and I think sometimes I even use my Dharma practice as a but. That is why I think your recommendation of 4es and decay (plus my duration and impermanence add on) is so powerful — so there is no but to hide behind. I can wash my hands religiously, keep a stock of masks and hand sanitizer, stay fit and take those vitamins, but in the end there are no guarantees.  If the folks closest to me get sick, if I am exposed, if my immune system sputters, if all the ifs that need to come together to get sick in my case do in  fact come together, I’ll get sick. The reason is simple…a 4e virus is capable of traveling via air and water, existing for some time on solids, active at the right temperatures. My 4e body is susceptible to that 4e virus. It can move (wind) through my blood, attack the solids in my lungs, raise my temperature, shift the balance of my own 4es such that I get ill. In this world there is consuming and being consumed. A 4e body is ripe for consumption and a virus is a formidable consumer.

MN: Yes, exactly! This is why LP Thoon emphasized the need to spend 50% contemplation time on rupa and 50% on nama. We need the undeniable rupa to bring home the truth. To ground our nama fantasies.

AD: Well pandemics seem good for my practice…after all h1N1 homeless Alana story was what kicked off my path ..so keep your fingers crossed for me…