It was at the end of the 2012 (I think) retreat and the teachers were taking suggestions/ feedback on the retreat from the participants. I raised my hand, “I think it would be good if LP Nut (one of the teachers) led some of the English discussion groups/activities. I always get so much out of his teachings” LP Nut takes the microphone, thanks me, and then calls me out, “just remember Alana you can learn Thai too.”

OK, I hear you, I hear you LP Nut: So I enroll in a once a week Thai class at the temple. But honestly, I half assed it, minimal study, last minute homework. I heard you L.P. Nut, but not really…

Over time though, LP.’s words really started to echo in my head. I heard not just, “you, Alana, have the capability to learn Thai”. But, “you Alana are not the immutable force in the world to which all things and people must bend, adjust.” The language you speak is not a universal norm (duh, you belong to a Thai community), your terms are not those of the world, they are in fact quite irrelevant.”

A year and a half late (it was Thai time after all ;)), I enrolled in a 3 hour a week intensive Thai class and began to study an additional 10 hours on top. I put the petal to the metal and I pushed, I learned.

I pushed because I really do want to understand LP Nut and all of my teachers. I don’t want to miss the important details during late night discussions when everyone is too tired to translate. I don’t want language to limit my choice of dharma friends. I don’t want to feel like an outsider in my own community. So I study, for me.

I want to be clear, I’m not saying every non-Thai speaker must go out and learn Thai. Or that the Temple is inaccessable to folks who don’t speak Thai. Or that the community is closed and unaccepting. Not at all! But, for me, in my life, I came to see language as a barrier. A barrier I had no way of surmounting as long as I waited around and expected people to adjust to me, to my terms. If I wanted to feel included and get all the info, something had to give. Finally, a year and a half late, I realized that something could be me.